Why is everything a competition when it comes to baby milestones??!!! Aviana is pretty much textbook in hitting all her milestones (except for crawling which she avoided, but that’s not a real milestone anyway), but today at Aviana’s gym class someone made out like Aviana was LATE in her development.
Whilst Aviana clambered over some low lying parallel bars, a mother of a little boy who was new to the class commented on how she is glad her son isn’t climbing yet, I laughed and agreed ‘I can’t take my eyes away for a minute’, then she asked ‘awww, how old is she?’, without much thought I said ’13 months-she just started walking really in the last week so she is off exploring everywhere’. The mother looked surprised, probably because Aviana looked pretty confident, so I added, ‘she has been almost walking for a few months but finally figured out it was more efficient than scooting’. And then the mother asked if Aviana was my first, I replied yes, and she said it….’ohhh first borns are always late at walking’.
Wait. What? Aviana isn’t a late walker!
Yes some kids walk earlier, and some kids walk much later!!! In fact the average is 12 months. Aviana is pretty much text book and started walking solo aged 12 months 1 week.
So this conversation got me thinking how much pressure as parents we put ourselves under for our babies to hit their milestones at any given time. It is seemingly never ending! Of course it’s important to track them, but it also helps to know what the range for developmentally normal actually is. This mother’s perspective was clearly from a limited experience and luckily I knew better so as to not be offended or become worried!
This is one of the reasons why I hate the question ‘how old is she?’ from random strangers. I always feel like the only reason they are asking is to judge their kid against mine.
The Inconceivable Adventures of Parenthood 
People are dumb. Whenever people ask me how old Cadence is, they always tell me how tiny she is. Yes, I know, I don’t need total strangers to let me know my kid is small for her age! People are so annoying. Life shouldn’t be a competition, especially when they’re so young still.
On another note…C has a pair of overalls that look just like these ones! They have purple flowers on them though on the ribbon and cuffs 🙂
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I also get so many “your baby is so small”. It’s so annoying. She is just fine. Of course me saying “your baby is huge” doesn’t get the same response lol. Maybe saying “your baby is average”…just kidding. 😁
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I wonder at what point in life does it become truly unacceptable to say this about a kid…because they take in everything we say, we don’t want them to feel like being smaller is a bad thing. 😒
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I get that all the time too because my little man is lean and thin instead of having chubby rolls but he’s growing just fine!
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I honestly don’t know what size a baby is meant to be at any given month so I could never say something like that! I think it’s an odd thing to say.
Her overalls are a hand me down so I don’t know which store they are from! I probably wouldn’t have picked them out in a shop but she looks darn cute in them 😝
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13 is perfectly fine for walking and yes most second borns walk sooner than first because they have a role model.
I agree with you on “mom pressure”. Its awful. And I feel that mom was snarky. Its not like you really asked her opinion!!
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Perhaps I’m just a bit sensitive and most people wouldn’t have noticed it. My reaction was polite-I just didn’t carry on the conversation 😃 I also never ask how old a kid is, even in return…unless it’s in natural context of the conversation. Maybe why I find it hard to make new mom friends 😳
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I ask how old the child is because my boys are rough. Some kids look petite but are mighty and some look big but are babies inside.
So its my way of chanelling the play time with toy sharing etc. but yeah, It would certainly not be a conversation piece. Any mom converations with me would be more of how exhausting it is and how I wish they slept through the night!:))
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Hahaha YES! Let’s be moms sharing the pain than making the competition. Speaking of sharing the pain…Aviana woke up like every 1-2 hours last night cried for less than a minute enough to wake me up and then she’d go back to sleep on her own. BAHHHHHH!
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Tooth or ear? Waking up mid sleep crying usually point to either of them.. I hope you have enough coffee in your household 🙂
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Yup teeth thankfully – it showed this morning! Aaaand I got a free cup of grande coffee today at the book shop so today was much better 🤪🤪
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Oh man I have so many feelings about this! It’s not a competition, and it certainly is no ones business. Why is there so much mommy shaming? We should be building each other up and supporting our little ones, not being rude and making others feel badly. It’s so frustrating. Glad you just let it roll off your back. I think that’s the healthiest way to deal.
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Yessssss!!!! I guess writing a blog post about it means I didn’t quite just let it roll off my back 😝 but I did decide to end the conversation there!
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Ha! Other mums can be awful. That’s why I have only a select few I listen to. One in my NCT group is super competitive – hers always has to be first at everything. But I figure that she just gets validation that way so that’s good for her. I just can’t be bothered to worry about it. And btw, B is a year and a couple of weeks and still isn’t walking! And I’m not worried at all – the less he walks, the more controllable he is! There’s such a massive variation for all the milestones. As someone who was advanced cognitively as a child (could read age two) I think there’s a lot to say for not being first to do stuff… It means you’re less bored! I couldn’t care less if B is first or last to do anything, as long as he’s happy!
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EXACTLY their happiness is most important, what I was saying to people who commented about Aviana not walking….ummmmm at least she is vaguely controllable!! haha 🙂 Oh my goodness you were reading at 2? Woah – that is crazy! Chris was advanced like that too and he said he sometimes looks back and wished he could have been more of a child. I am never really sure what he means by that because I can’t imagine it 🙂
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