“How were your holidays?” My dentist asked me.
“Well I have a 5 week old baby, so they were pretty busy!! And this is my first time leaving her since she was born..” I said trying to sound excited. Actually, my emotions at that moment were mixed.
Firstly, I really hate the dentist. It took a couple of visits with Chris before I really trusted this practice. My dislike of dentists is a long standing one.
Secondly, I was feeling actually well rested because Aviana allowed me my first good 3 hour straight stretch of sleep for I can’t remember how long (even in pregnancy that was a challenge because of my necessity to pee every hour!).
Thirdly, I had left Aviana with Chris, for the first time in 5 weeks I was babyless. I felt both freedom and yet at the same time as if I had forgotten something. The feeling was like Aviana was my essential handbag with my wallet in it that I had left behind at home. I felt naked!
“Wow you look good for having a newborn baby” the dentist said. Awwww shucks…well I’ll take that compliment even though I’m not good with them. I needed that confidence boost! I actually had time to put my make up on and blow dry my hair that morning because Chris took her first thing. I was feeling vaguely human!
I was only out of the house for 2.5hrs, but it was long enough to reset my mind. It had been a tough day the previous day. Aviana would not let me put her down from 6am to 1pm and she had been in and out of sleep since 3am. Although I had her in the wrap and could do bits in between her crying like eat a bite of breakfast, I was at my wits end. I had called Chris for help but couldn’t get through to him…and then all of a sudden she fell asleep in my arms and the world was right again. But I couldn’t help but feel like it was something I was doing to her to make her cry or not sleep. It was mentally (and a bit physically) exhausting. She must have exhausted herself out the poor thing. I was really looking forward to the pediatrician appointment the next day for a diagnosis of her silent reflux….TO BE CONTINUED!