Facebook parenting groups 

Facebook parenting groups or should I say Facebook shaming groups. Aghhhh. I hate the ones that have a weak admin presence. I am all for free speech and informed debates in these groups because there are many different ways to raise a child. But to put another person down because they make a parenting choice that is different to yours?  No. it’s not cool. I don’t respect you or your opinion if you are going to be a twat about it. 

I am part of six private Facebook groups for parenting (mostly mothers)…local Infertility group for moms, IUGR babies (international), UK babies group, local breastfeeding support group, local baby wearing and pumping moms (international). Some of these are better than others in how they are run as an online community. I find all my local ones respectful, probably because we might run into each other so we are nice to one another, I don’t know. My IUGR group is super because I feel like that we have a mutual respect for our tiny but mighty babes. And some others? Well the admin doesn’t stop or prevent trolls and I HATE it because I am always biting my tongue to intervene. And then when someone replies to my comment with nastiness I just want to slap them in the face and say – HEY, look, I’m not forcing my ideas on anyone, I’m respectful, I have a choice, you have a choice, the original poster has a choice, I’m a smart woman and don’t need to defend my choices to a random stranger. Take it or leave it, my thoughts are equally as valid as yours, it’s simple! I will respect your opinion, so why do you have to put me down? How you choose to parent is your business, unless of course you are abusing your child, that’s a different story. These Facebook groups are all SUPPORT groups, so why be the opposite of that?! Why do you feel like you have to make other people feel like shit? Why are you telling me I am absolutely 100% wrong? Is there a best parent award competition out there that you need to prove yourself for or beat me to it? 

 I don’t know why I get involved…well I do, I like to share my experiences because I like to read about other people’s experiences so I know I’m not alone and crazy. 

It’s just a shame because I want to leave one group in particular because of all that, and she yet it’s one I feel like I need support with. Guess I need to look elsewhere 😔 

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15 thoughts on “Facebook parenting groups 

  1. Mamalife says:

    On FB, I only join expert led groups. Id rather have my opinion or concern validated by an expert than have anyone and everyone discuss my problem/ situation.
    Its so much better that way, esp when I am actually looking for help. For any other random query, I google.
    Ive had quite some bad experiences on these mom groups, so I just quit. I cannot bite my tongue like you 🙂 ( I have to learn how you do it)

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Disorderly Love says:

    I swear, I’ve always felt like-group or not-people just love to shame other people.
    Example lol I shared car seat canopy was having a sale with a coupon code & two people immediately felt the need to comment going on about how it’s not safe, flammable, etc etc. did they ask if I purchased the entire car seat cover or just the out & about cover? No. They just couldn’t help themselves to pounce all over it, though.
    Very frustrating. I feel like we as a society need to build others up, not be so quick to tear them down. Very sad

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Disorderly Love says:

    PS Convey Motherhood is a WONDERFUL supportive group for moms!!!! It’s ran my a lady who did IVF & got her miracle baby. She does NOT tolerate any sort of negativity or selling of products to/by others. I truly love it! People are nice & actually supportive, check it out maybe? 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Amy M. says:

    Yikes. I’m lucky that I’ve found a few pretty supportive groups. One is also the in-person mom group I go to; one is a fabulous group of women in this are (I don’t think I’ve EVER seen anything mean on there); one is a less active neighborhood group, and 2 are La Leche League groups. I’ve found that some people in the LLL groups can be harsh and judgemental, but I’m not as active in those ones. I just truly don’t understand though why some people are so mean to each other and so forceful with their opinions. I remember after C’s 4 month appointment when her Ped had said I could start solids, I asked in one of the LLL groups how they went about introducing solids to their babies. A few women completely went off on me about starting solids so soon. It was hard not to go right back at them about how I will do what my Ped said, not what some woman I don’t even know says, but I just ignored them instead. We should all be here to support each other, not knock each other down!!

    Liked by 2 people

      • Amy M. says:

        So after I posted this comment, I posted in my favorite friendly group about water intake. How my ped said to give her a cup of water to drink all day, but that she doesn’t like the water and spits it out, and if others had this happen. One mom went on about how she’s too young for water, she should be plenty hydrated from my milk, blah blah blah. Even though I said I knew she didn’t NEED the water, it was just so she can start getting used to it. Some people really need their soap boxes burned under their feet. 😀

        Like

    • ourgreatestdesire says:

      Geez…if it makes you feel any better, I started A on rice cereal at 8 weeks and we added fruit to it at probably 10 weeks. She’s a perfectly happy and growing well baby girl! 🙂 And she’s been sleeping through the night since 12 or 13 weeks which was the whole point of giving her the cereal so it all worked out!

      Liked by 1 person

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